From the author:
Because the OXYGEN64 group has stopped releasing their INVERSE zine, I decided to continue the series of Frank's adventures in the columns for HOT STYLE. I hope, that you will like it. :) Let's continue than...
Frank, as known, was a helluva bad lack dude. He could not cope even with the simplests tasks. Well, lack of intelligence, as some may say, is may be seen not only immediately, but after the years... Hee recalls her no-so-pleasent experiences in a Virgin Megastore. He saw his wife in front of his eyes that day...
So he decided to cut off with his grey everyday life and he was off, to the city. He was on foot since his proffessional transport – a famous four wheel – Ursus traktor was out of order. And because noone had the same limusine as he, there were no possibility to repair it or find a spare part. So he was doomed to walking. Time passes by and all of a sudden he spotted his pal Rick:
- Howdy dude!
- Ta! Watchya doin'? Goin' sumwhere?
- Yup, down to the city, fella! Am kinda fed up with my other halfie, ye know.
- Heheh! What? A separation? A divorce I betcha...
- Nope, you dumbie! I wanna take a breath without her.
- Ahh, that's a pity.. Kidding =)... You got lotsa time. Three kilos to the city down this way, pal...
- Three you say... But I am a slowlie...
- Yup... Yo, man! Heard of Mark last days?
- Which one, that from the peasants?
- No other!
- No, aint any news for a long time. Roll the story!
- He found a lost handbag in a tramway. It looked like a kinda rich queen lost it, and he gave it away to the lost-and-found office. Ye know, as he was such an educated one, hahahah. Silly, I tell ya! And guess what? He got accused there that he was a .. CLOSET QUEEN!
- Naahhh! And what did he say?
- He could even give the explanations! They locked him immediately!
- Hahaha... Ok, off I go!
- See ya!
- So long! - Frank replied and headed for the city.
And what a splendid one it was... Many faontains avenues, big parks, an enormous national stadium << Inter Dungie >> and sooo many other places and things.. Like toilets! Even toilets were there. To be used, not to be watched, ofcoz. And a lot of smurfs as well.
They gathered at the footbridges. All we know – they got rich on fine-tickets.
Frank did not even noticed them. So while crossing the street when the reds were on, all of the sudden he got melodically whistled.
- Sir, please – shouted one of the policemen.
And that's all. :) Frank, mad at himself that he was not observantly cautious, decided to look around him more carefully. And that was good, cause in the big city, even dogs shit on the road. Thus, being accustomed, he avoided many of the dung-bombs! But well, not a big deal, cause he got used to it. He got two cows. One even shit on his head while he was milking her. Since then he walked carefully. But still... Another pedestrian crossing. Frank looked around.... No police officer anywhere.
- Splendid – he thought – no time for waiting... Let's go.
And he made his step on the firs stripe. Suddenly! A car! A small one but still a car and ready to run Frank over! Frank looked like being completely out of that chance but he gave a wonderful acrobatic performance. He got his first place at the spitting competition, so he learnt how to jump as well. UP, and up, and UP and he was safe... almost. He could not foreseen one thing, that the car was equipped with a long radio antenna and the VERY SAME antenna stroke him directly between the... yes... ouch.
Minutes have passed and Frank woke up from the shock as most probably he fainted after a fall. He stood up and.. felt a wind there were normally a man wears trousers. He looked down and recalled...
- I was laky to got caught by the smurfs.
It started to dusk so Frank decided to go back home. He knew, 3 kilometers isn’t a question of 5 minuets... So he headed for... While walking he was thinking about the situation, while smelling the sewage's scent of the close-to-the-road factory's effluents.
When he arrived, his met his wife...
- Whatchye doin'? - he asked.
- Darn, I lost my handbag somewhere. I went to the lost-and-found office and I was told that it was a kinda closet queen who took it. I immediately thought about you, but I knew you were in the ZOO
- ........Where is my axe!!!
The story was written in 2000, and until this day it has not been continued ;).
Translation: Sim / Wanted Team, Lamers, Resistance, Titan...