note from the translator:
A title Hrabia is the title used for a rank of Polish nobility, very roughly corresponding to English Count. To make the lecture, for our English-speakers, more comprehensible, some parts were slightly extended.

Burning glance, a passionate spirit, a sensibility of a young woman - these are the most appropriate words describing Hrabia Christopher RUBUS. The following modest lines, written by my trembling quill, will describe to thee, dear reader, the story of a well known dandy, being struggled and hustled by many every-day adversities become a pauper. How the love to gambling, deep passion for women's charm, and his endless but sophisticated thirst made this nobly-born gentleman fall from grace.

Since ages, his „phylum”, his family resided the picturesque and vivid Mazowsze. His blood was pulsing in the rhythm of, such characteristic for this land, meadows and willows. Even already being on exile from his mother-land, he was silently sobbing after these splendid, breath-taking, deeply-touching sights and sceneries. These majestic castles, possessions, wonderful nature. After these hut and cottages covered with chopper. How many times, being a brat he sneaked in to the orchards to pick some fresh and crocking apples. How many times, he was bestowing a bliss and delight to the burning, but still willingful countenance of a young and innocent gal. How many times, driven by desire and the untamed lust, his legs were heading him for a bed of a beautiful, but unfaithful trollop (the very same legs were helping him out to save his butt from the furious husband fists). Countless times, when going home from a knees-up, in the alcoholic haze unable to find a way to his castle, roadside haystacks were his house and shelter.

His father, a well respected man, had a tendency to keep his eyes and ears shut to Hrabia's fast living as well as to all his quirks. He alone, at his youth, was not a quite boy. It was genetic, since Hrabias grandfather – Teofilus – had know all the land's haystacks by heart, and was not that one, who spares his... lance from any, especially voluptuous damsel. Writing a truth, Teofilus' inheritance could have been much bigger except for his passion for using his lance, or... more musically saying - pipe - very often. As for him, it was not important with whom, for whom and where he was „playing”. Quartet, quintet, duet or trio or even a whole philharmonic orchestra. As a tolerant but still full of taste person, when, the need was at the rendezvous, every circumstance was favorable and propitious. Bravely, despite many sweat drops was he playing his most passionate arias and operas. To the last dip of his... sweat. Yes.

Christopher's parent used to say that his son needs to live and sometimes even get crazy. As long as he is still young. It is known, that all that inheritance, although generously used by his grand-father, the „musician”, all these material goods will be inherited by this brave younker. And it was something... Three sizable castles, few substantial’s villages, many orchards full of juicy and tasty fruits, numerous ponds full of vivid fish, small and big forests, idyllic meadows, plantations of grapes...

Shortly after Christopher's 20th anniversary, a terrible accident took place. During one hunt, and we must mention, hunting was Christopher's father passion, a horn-mad, partially wounded thus enraged boar rammed directly into Christopher's father steed! The steed felt dead immediately, as if he was rammed by a thunderbolt! Christopher's father, as for him, was terribly wounded. And despite a long-lasting and dedicated treatment, the clergyman saw him already with his one leg in the tomb.

One sunny day, when Christopher's father's pyrexia started to cease and he felt slightly better, as soon as he could, he called for servants and ask to bring his first-born son immediately. I wish to underline „first-born” here. Well, since as a matter of fact, Christopher have a lot of brothers and sisters, as well as cousins in fact. Peasants, noblemen, fishermen, merchants, artists... But this was all the result of Tefilus' patient and passionate „pipe-playing” result.

So the father, as probably feeling his soon-to-be-done live, called his first-born, to reveal his last will and give his last precious advices. He has started in these noble words...
- My dear Christopher – so he started – your are not a boy anymore. You know that I was always loving you and I was proud of you. Now, in these days, being at the end of my life...
- But my honorable father – said Christopher deeply touched by his father words.
- Listen to me – interrupted his father – and please, stop shedding your tears. This is this World's order that everything has its end. Sooner or later... And it has to be remember – everything has its end. I am deeply happy that it will be you, my first-born son, who will take our family's, mine heritage over. But please remember, REMEMBER, never let yourself be blinded by the fortune and thus temptations of this material world. Please be wise and keep your mind wit and you will be safe from these undoing’s who were part of your grandfather's life as well as, unfortunately, mine.
- But dear father, what are you delivering here...
- Please, hold yourself from interrupting me. Let me talk. Even if the fortune's wheel is never stopped, the highest spoken in fortune's wheel may soon turn lowest. This World's temptations, so delightful might they be, they may drive one to the desperate end and lost him. What is the most important, be a good man, be a good to your feudal and servants and they will serve you with all their will and heart. Staaaay away from the gambling temptations, my son... Do not let them become an excitation and slowly a disease your mind. Everything must be dosed. Otherwise it may be like a leprosy, eating slowly its support. Drink occasionally Christopher, if you must, do not abuse this liquid which stupefies the mind and overpowers the physical body. Beware all those coming from the eastern borders! For the sake of our ancestors, these temptations deceive not only mind, but make both, your body and soul ill. It dazzles your eyes as well! Behold the case of your uncle Pancrace. A blissful moment of delightful pleasure was paid very severely. He will never play bridge anymore, he is neither able to go hunting these days – here Christopher's father hold his breath, took a deep inhale and continued - nor will appreciate the beauty of women's body as well... - And my last, very last information for you, my son. Something which is very important in my personal point of view – took another breath and added silently – if only I was aware of it when I was young. If I would have remembered it, I would not be here, giving you all these teachings...

Here, the father took a small break, coughed and pursed his eyebrows with a personal anger towards himself. He tried to sit on the bed, but without success. He took a breath and continued...
- And, last but, for heavens, not leeeaaaast - gasped the father with the trembling voice rising his right hand and pointing finger in the air – heed my words and... watch the women. I am not saying you should get excited by watching them, oh noooo. But when you see a beautiful woman, beware she is not an incarnation of the demon or evil. Know, that a beautiful body does not mean a lot, even if tempting... Even a not so delightful damsel may be very attractive if she has a beautiful and pure mind. Me myself, I understood it too late, only here on this bed of farewell.

He stopped here, panting deeply and a sweat drips could be seen on his forehead.
- Do you think, Christopher, that that wounded-boar accident did really happen in the way how it looked like? What do you think? The truth is only known but two persons: me, and uncle Alex. Now you will be the third one, to know what really happened. Behold... You surely know the publican Joseph's wife, do not you? You must admit she is one of that very rare beauty. I have had noticed that as well... Unfortunately, I must admit. Such a young damsel, a body of the goddess of love, his face such an innocent and cute. But her mind... I tell you, a mind and brain of an elder, fly man. So cunning and greedy, that hardly anyone can dare to compete with her in that matter. The inn keeper, as you know, was often out of the city for business. Me, young and with love-fire in my head and trousers, as a tricky fox, was gaining the terrain step-by-step and day-by-day. Wishing, with a grand hunger to conquer the heart and body and eat this beautiful chicken. I have, as you might have noticed, that a weakness for these all-night plays. I feel like a general who conquers a new terrains and realms with his best army just to learn soon after that he become a prisoner-of-war, a hostage in the opponent quarter. Her rare beauty, and tender words made me blind. I trusted her, but can one trust a person who cheats on his husband with predetermination? Can he or her be a trustful being...

Here, he made a pause, diving deeply down his thoughts... After a while he asked:
- My son, tell me, have you ever been a pawn in someone's game? I guess no, or... unfortunately – not yet. Then thus I warn you, pay attention not to become one day. And women are the most dangerous here, when they spread the carts. This beautiful lady, I loved and dated, used me like a tool to make his husband jealous. And, as you know, the inn-keeper is a one of those robust man, hot-tempered with a hand like a stone... I was waiting long for the final results...

Christopher looked at his father unbelievingly, and when his father stopped here again, he replied:
- Dear father, I promise you and swear on my honor, today I will bring you this poor inn-keeper in my carriage's trunk...
- Calm down my son, and tame your anger... It will not bring me my health back, mind you. You should know, that I make some kind of agreement... yes, a pact with this female female-cat, with his wife of viper. No one can touch him and he must stay at good health.

He stopped for a while, and continued silently, but clearly...
- She... she is... she is pregnant... And it is me, who is a father... After these words dead silence followed. There was no need to ask for anything or make something clear.

To be continued.

Diony (Desperat-zine)

Translation: Sim / Wanted Team, Lamers, Resistance, Titan...